Thursday, June 14, 2012

Worst. Date. Ever. part 2

(just some advice, if you ever decide to write a "to be continued" post, write the whole thing out and just post part.  That way, if life suddenly gets busy/you have to adjust to a new routine, your readers don't have to wait for three weeks!)

Part One, in case you missed it.

This is not the guy I went out with, but if you need to picture someone, picture this jerk.

So here I am on my date with Kalon a boy whose name I can't remember, that had his friend ask me out.  We just finished watching the BYU Folk Dance Teams perform and they were amazing.  Best thing about the date.  My original plan for that evening was to visit my roommate at work and have some dinner.  I must have told this guy because he suggested we should still do that.  My roommate Becky worked at a Thai restaurant near campus so we drove over. 

They weren't very busy that night so when Becky had a second she sat down to visit.  She later told me I looked like I was having an awful time and she wanted to give me a break!  Awesome roommate.  She asked if he had served an LDS mission, and he had in Finland.  She asked: "Do you still read the Book of Mormon in Finish?"  And I just started laughing!  I thought she was asking him if he still read the Book of Mormon, which is a very personal question.  So I told them what I thought was so funny and he replied, very very serious: "Well, I do.  And I work at the Provo Temple on Thursdays." (If you're not LDS, working at the temple is volunteer service and its a great thing to do, but not something that you really brag about.  Its like bragging about how humble you are. . . )

Becky went back to work and we finished eating.  When it was time to pay, Dude asks Becky if they accept American Express cards, oh wait, except he called it AMex.  "Do you accept AMex?"  They did not.  Dude was clearly disappointed, but offers up another card.  "People ask us all the time if we take American Express, why is that card so special?" Becky asked.  "Well, this is my AMex business card and it has over 10,000 dollars charged to it.  I get a lot of free flyer miles when I use it."  Dude, can you say that a little louder?  I don't think the people across the room could hear you.

So we leave and Dude gets the car door for me and I thank him.  "You would be surprised.  One time I got the car door for a Utah girl and she looked at me and called me a pig!"  Oh, well, are you sure that's the reason why she said it?  I don't think I conveyed just how much this boy did not like girls from Utah.  Aside from all his money and businesses, it was all he talked about. 

We pull up to my house and get out of the car.  "So, Kim, I had fun.  Do you think I could get your number so we could do this again?"  And suddenly I had a revelation.  I could see the future of what would happen if I gave this guy my phone number.  Never answering, I would forever be in fear of the sound of my ring tone.  I would be scared he would show up around every corner.  And so maybe for the first time ever, I did the brave thing to do.  "I don't think so."  I don't know what he said to that, probably because I turned and ran.  I cried a little.  I felt really bad, but good for being honest at the same time. 

Now, everyone dreams of those perfectly scripted moments when you can really tell off someone that has done you wrong.  The following Sunday I had mine.  We were walking home from church on a seriously beautiful day.  I looked good (I think.  At least I felt good)  And we walked right past the boy that asked for nail polish and also asked me out.  For another dude. 

"Do you make a point of asking girls out for other guys often?"  The other guys around him chuckled.
"No. . .how was the date?"
"He was rude, stuck up and self centered."  And I flipped my hair rolled my eyes and walked past him.  Not too much anger, just enough to let him know: Seriously dumb move. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Wanna watch the Bachelorette with me? (week 4)

Sorry I missed week three!  Last week was crazy.  Speaking of which, the ending to my worst date story is coming tomorrow.  Probably not a good idea to write a post without an ending right before the busiest week of the year. . . So anyway, Bachelorette!

This week they're going to Bermuda.  What happened to staying close to home so Emily could  be with her daughter?  Oh never mind, she brought her with. 

Ooh Emily, Bermuda while your pregnant?  Doesn't get much hotter than that!  No seriously, I was always roasting hot when I was pregnant.

And Doug gets the first one on one.  He's so nervous, he starts swearing.  Everyone is laughing.  This is the most drama you'll see with the men.  They aren't as fun to watch as the women, are they?  I will say this, I don't know if Doug had brothers.  One thing you learn about brothers is that the more upset you get the more the try to bug you.  Let it go Doug, let it go.

Foster kid, single dad starts a charity?  Like Emily said, of course you did.  Is Doug to good to be true?

Wow, what is up with that dress.  Sorry, I'm not a fan of giant sparkly butterflies.

Emily: You're not perfect?
Doug: No. (but I'm pretty close, right?  Right?)

And Doug gets a rose.  Shocker.

Group Date: 
The boys have to win a boat race to hang out with Emily that night.  I'm pretty sure this is what the boys did on Ashley's season, except they had to paddle.  These boys don't know how good they have it!

Ryan: (as the other team pulls ahead) I don't even understand this.
Me: You don't understand what?  Losing?  You poor baby.

But in the end, Ryan and his team actually do win.  I'm bummed I don't get to see more time with Emily and Sean.  But I'm not worried about him going home.

 Ryan is being a jerk, and suddenly I'm wondering where Kalon is.  What will he do if he doesn't get a date again this week?  I can't wait.

Jef, so simple and sweet.  I like you and I wanna be with you.  And then awkward time when they should have kissed.
Jef: Should we go back?
Me: NOOOOO!  Jef!  Who says that???

Oh!  Kalon is here.  And Ryan too.  Two jerks on one date.  Killing two birds with one stone?

Ryan: I'm not here to impress you, but to make an impression on you.
Me: What does that mean??  Words words words, I'm pretty sure they mean the same thing.

Did Ryan really just call her a bad example?  Kind of rude. 

Group date rose: My guess is Arie or Jef.  JEF!!  Good job holding out with the virgin lips, leave 'em wanting more.

Two on one date.  The most demonic thing ABC could come up with.

I think its weird that she's holding hands with both of them as they walk into the cave.

In the event of a cave in, Emily will have to chose who to eat and who to marry.

What is it about this girl that makes boys want to open up and cry?  And there seems to be a trend of criers = going home. 

Cocktail Party

I only have one thing to say: What the heck was up with Chris???  Doug was right, that was immature.

Rose Ceremony

I predict the two going home will be Alejandro and Long Hairs.

I was right about Long Hairs, but Charlie!  I did not see that coming!  Poor guy. 

My picks for the final four are Sean, Arie, Jef and ???  I'm not sure yet.