The Sound of Silence

So, I'm the oldest of six kids, in case you didn't know.  Quiet has never really been my thing.  When I'm cleaning I want some jams! (For cleaning I recommend Michael Jackson station on Pandora)  When I'm laying by the pool I want some Jack Johnson (haven't tanned since I had kids, but it's nice to remember what relaxing was like)  When I'm puttering on the computer I like ambient noise.  There are several ways to get ambient noise.

• Kids playing.
• Windows open with birds chirping
• TV on

VIA

Well I have kids, but one is too little to play and the other is too quiet when she's playing alone.  Up until a couple of days ago its been to cold to open the windows and so?  Lots of TV hours have been logged at this house.

BUT!  I scream.  But, it's only because I hate the quiet, we don't actually watch it.  That's true, we don't.  Not all the time.  Olivia doesn't like to sit still for long.  You know that's not totally true though.  Olivia doesn't know all the words to Doc McStuffins by not watching. 

My mom will read this and I know what her comment will be.  "This coming from the girl who said she didn't want a TV in her home?!?!"  Yep, I said that.  Yep, I still mean it.  But it's one thing to say it and mean it, and it's another thing to do it.  Right?  Because no one is eating brownies any more since we found out they have little nutrition value.  I have a TV and the temptation is there.

I'm working on turning it off more often and now that spring is here and I can open the window and hear yard work being done (side note: that is one thing I love about apartment living.  Yard work is getting done and I don't have to do it!  But I guess I do pay for it, even if indirectly) and that does satisfy my need for ambient noise.

Next winter Axel might be able to play with Olivia a little more, you know, make a little more noise (the good kind.  Both my children are great at screaming, the bad kind).  I guess I just feel lonely with all that quiet around.  Some might say I'm uncomfortable with my own thoughts, but I think the fact that I have a blog shows I'm quite infatuated with my own thoughts. 

So. . . don't really know where I was going with this.  Guess I just wanted to confess.  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. 

30x30 Looks 13-18

And the 30x30 challenge continues. . .

DAY 13-Monday
It ended up being such a warm day that I rolled up the sleeves on my navy cardi.  As if showing three inches of my wrist is going to keep me cool.  As.  If.

Not sure what I was doing with my neck/chin here.  Just when I think I'm getting better at posing. . . 

DAY 14-Tuesday
Thanks to Axel waking up several times in the night, I was super drained on Tuesday.  We had to make an emergency run to Target for toilet paper and soap.  I did manage to make one of the best dinners of my marriage thus far (cheese burgers and potato salad) so it wasn't the worst day ever.

DAY 15-Wednesday
Not sure if these two pieces go together or not.  But it was comfortable and quick. 

DAY 16-Thursday
I woke up to horrible allergies.  I made dinner for my sister-in-law who just had a new baby and later that night I watched The Office series finale.  Between the sneezing and the tears, I looked a wreck.  So I had to recreate this outfit another day!

DAY 17-Friday
Date night!  We're trying to save money for a house, so funds are tight.  I wanted to surprise Adam with ice cream and a DVD, but it was raining and I didn't feel like going outside with two babies.  So I called and had him pick up ice cream and Lincoln.  No surprises but he was still happy (he's been wanting to see Lincoln for a LONG time!)

DAY 18-Saturday
 I had a massage in the morning.  Adam finally made me go (it was my Valentine's Day gift!) by making the appointment for me.  Next time I have a massage I will make sure I have nothing to do the rest of the day because I just felt tired and dizzy and yucky from all those toxins that get released.  I tried to drink a lot of water, but I still needed a nap!

As always, make sure to check out these other lovely ladies that are no doubt doing a better job than I am!  :)

Vintage Post: Jim and Pam saved my life

This post was originally posted on my old blog on January 21, 2010.  As The Office is ending I thought it was a good way to pay tribute to the couple that saved me from a fate worse than death.  I am not joking!  To keep this post authentic, I kept it exactly as it originally posted, although there are a lot of changes I want to make!  The episode I reference is episode 614, called The Banker and first aired on January 21, 2010.

Jim and Pam Saved My Life

No joke!! Even though I didn't really like the Office stooping to the level of so many other sitcoms by airing an episode created by compiling old clips, it did make me laugh. A lot. It was like some of the best moments from all 5 (or 6?) seasons all rolled into 22 minutes (that's not including commercials). Then at the very end there was the Jim and Pam montage and it reminded me of a journal entry I wrote just one week before Adam asked me out. I was lonely from ending another relationship and thinking about calling him just so I didn't have to be alone. But I was holding off by watching The Office and laughing out loud all alone. Then suddenly there was a moment on the show when Jim told the camera he was proposing to Pam and I felt a tingle go up my spine. Wow! I wished I could find a guy that made me feel that way! Of course the only guy I could think of that made me feel that way was Adam Thomas. What were the chances of him ever liking me, or asking me out?? I never got my way in love and relationships. In any case, that one moment kept me from calling an ex and holding out for real love. Luckily for me, it did turn out to be Adam!! Yeah, Jim and Pam saved me!!

Morning has broken

Because every blog post needs a little baby.

The name of my blog is, "I'm Probably Crazy".  But now I know its true.  Its a Monday morning, my babies are both asleep, and I am awake at 6am. 

6am.

Of my own free will.

Crazy.

Here's the deal: Axel's best stretch of sleep is from 8pm until 2am.  And then I feed him and he sleeps again until 5:30 or 6.  And then he wakes up for the day at 8am.  I try to go to bed at 10pm but I just wasn't tired enough.  I was worn out, sure, but getting almost 10 hours of sleep (even though it wasn't really quality) made it hard to fall asleep easily.

So the new plan: Wake up to feed Axel at 5:30 or 6 and stay up.  I can remember to take my iron supplement, eat my breakfast in peace, read my blogs in silence, shower before noon. . . so many great advantages.  But the best part (I'm hoping) is that I'll more easily fall asleep.  Maybe even at 9pm!  That would give me a 5 hour stretch of sleep!  And then another 3-4 hours after that. 

The less broken my sleep is, the better.

I feel like we've been down this road before. . .

30x30 Looks 7-12

A couple of things to start: My head looks weird in a lot of these pictures.  I swear its not that pointy.
Second, if you're as observant as my high school students were you might wonder why I don't wear a wedding ring (They thought I was divorced).  Basically, it doesn't fit and even when it does (some days I guess my fingers are less swollen??) it's too big and scratches Axel and Olivia. 

DAY 7-Tuesday
I picked four skirts/dresses so I would have plenty of church options, but the only skirt I will wear on a non-Sunday is a maxi.  I spend so much time sitting on the floor changing diapers that I can't worry about modesty!  This is one I don't think I would have put together if it wasn't for this challenge.  Sadly, I didn't put any flip flops in my 30 items and that's what this outfit really needed.

And the best picture doesn't show my shoes, but I'm wearing the black heels.  

DAY 8-Wednesday
Wednesday was our Mother's Day dinner with Adam's family.  We went out to dinner at Brio and Olivia got a babysitter (which is pretty much her favorite thing ever!) This is my take on a chambray shirt.  It's really just a light blue broadcloth, but sometimes you gotta use what you got. 

DAY 9- Thursday
Olivia and I went to a Mother Daughter picnic at church.  In my mind it was going to be such a sweet bonding time.  In reality it was me chasing her around a larger area than normal, with more stuff for her to break/trip over/people for her to annoy.  I came home exhausted and Axel had cried almost the whole time I was gone (poor Adam!) and Adam was sick (see told, ya, poor Adam!).  But even so he took my picture.  So sweet.

And just because she's so dang cute, here she is all dressed for our outing.

DAY 10-Friday
 Adam got really sick in the night so he was home.  In the afternoon I went shopping with my two kids for Mother's Day gifts (sorry I wasn't on the ball enough to give you your present while you were in town mom!)

I was joking around while we took these, and sadly this is the best one!  So I probably wont wear this together again because it wasn't very flattering on me.

DAY 11- Saturday
 Adam took Olivia to get our Bountiful Basket in the morning and then decided to take her to play with some cousins.  I got a LOT done.  I don't know if it was my "meds" kicking in (I take vitamin D to deal with my PPD.  I've forgotten to take it for a while, but when I remember it makes a HUGE difference) or if it was Olivia being out of the way (probably both).  After they got home and Olivia had lunch and a nap we went to the park and then dinner and shopping at IKEA.  After I got my kid to bed (we each take one) I went grocery shopping ALONE.  It was pretty much my perfect day, which totally took the pressure off Mother's Day!  We took this picture after all of that, so I'm looking a little hot and sweaty, but it was worth it.

DAY 12- Sunday
Happy Mother's Day!  Axel woke me at 6:15, and thanks to him being exclusively nursed, Adam had no choice but to continue sleeping and letting me care for him :)  But he made me yummy Swedish pancakes before church.  After church I made dinner for his mom, who has no daughters so the only time she's had someone make her dinner on Mother's Day is when I do it.

This dress is from my honeymoon in Fiji.  It is seriously sooooo comfortable.  

And this picture to show you what my head really looks like.   Less pointy.

As always, check out the other lovely ladies doing this challenge in May! Wordpress:

The truth is. . .

My favorite time of day is 7pm.  Dinner is over, Adam is home, babies are getting ready for bed and sun is pouring in the windows (more and more I'm realizing my happiness is largely linked to the sunshine).

Axel is happy, Olivia is happy.  Plus, naked babies.  The best, right?

Olivia and Baby Emily.  We hoped that she could care for Emily like I care for Axel, but instead she often makes me care for both of them at the same time.  Dang Emily, always crying at the same time Axel is, always needing my attention.

A video, if you so desire.  But you can skip it and the rest of this post will still make sense.  Don't feel bad.  I understand my kids are cutest to me.

And I could stop right there, and you would all think my life is great.  Well, it is, but let me tell you what happened right after I turned the camera off.

Olivia ran up to the bed excited to tell me something, and in her excitement she slams her hands down very close to Axel's head.

"Be careful, we don't want to hit Axel in the face."

In more of an act of defiance than cruelty, Olivia looked me straight in the eye and raised her hand to hit Axel.  I looked right back at her and said, "Do.Not.Hit."  And then. . . she did.

Well of course I got mad at her, and leaned over to pick her up so I could calmly explain why her actions were wrong get upset with her.  She went limp and smacked her face on the edge of my bed frame.  Axel got scared and started crying, she was screaming.  My happy moment dissolved into all out chaos. 

Eh, it happens right?  RIGHT???

30x30 Looks 1-6

DAY 1-Wednesday
So the day before this all went down, I joking tweeted Aubrey (In response to how I was going to handle the crazy weather we've been having in Salt Lake): "Layers! And a cute jacket. But I'm hoping the snow is behind us now. (Did I just jinx it?)" And then. . . SNOW the next morning.

So I got one chance to sport my corduroy jacket. . . and I wasn't feeling it.  So I wore the long sleeve cardi.  Don't judge the photography to harshly, we're a work in progress :)

Something about this hair do was giving me a weird head shape. 

Some new people were moving in during this.  It was only a little awkward.

DAY 2-Thursday
I went for a romantic look here (as in the romantic era) Lace, curls, pastels. . . That being said it was kind of boring.  I like it, but it was just a shirt and jeans.  Gotta burst out of the comfort zone!

Its been a looong time since I've curled my hair, and Olivia thought I was a Disney princess.   She kept giggling and wanting to touch it.  Slowly, but surely, she's growing her own hair :)

DAY3-Friday
I got to hang out with my sister Kellie on Friday.  We took pictures earlier in the day, so the lighting wasn't great BUT Axel spit up on me so much later that I had to change into a T-shirt, so I was glad it was already photographed.

DAY 4-Saturday
My family was in town.  We hung out and ran errands and went to dinner.

 DAY 5-Sunday

My brother blessed his son Wesley, so we had a great time with family all day.

I know its blurry, but it was my favorite one.  Deal with it. :)


DAY 6-Monday

So this is my version of the momiform.  I live for my cardigans and tanks.  It was hard to narrow it down to just six of each! 

Don't mind my crazy hair.  I can't see the top of my head until Adam takes a picture of me from a higher angle.  I was going to blame this on my height, but I'm guessing its the same for everyone. . .