So they go on this date to play dodge ball and the winning team gets more time with Des. Yawn.
Brooks has a hurt finger and suddenly Des is all "I didn't want anyone to get hurt" Apparently she missed 5th grade PE. You can't play dodge ball without someone getting hurt. Add to that that these are grown men, competing for a girl. Pretty sure they expected (dare I say hoped?) for this. Drama.
Des pulls a Lowe and brings all the guys.
Brooks has an out of body experience over a broken finger.
Chris says, I think I might get the rose. Enter Brooks. Cue music for a kid who just learned to walk again.
But Des proved me wrong. Chris does get the rose! And they go to a . . . drum roll please. . . PRIVATE CONCERT. Did not see this coming.
Of course they let the other guys watch from above. Not weird at.all.
Kasey's One on One
Kasey: Nothing can ruin our day!! Fore shadowing.
Yadda yadda, a scene that seems totally scripted with Brian.
Kasey gets to now play the knight in shining armor (although not literally. I think we all know how that went down) and be there for her after Brian destroys her faith in men.
As they dance on the building Kasey says it feels like sharing a moment that no one else will share. Well Kasey, that isn't just what it feels like, that is actually what it is!
But sadly the date isn't going good. So the wind starts blowing. We see the rose blow ominously in the wind.
Oh no! The pool is freezing. This date is horrible! No one has ever had such a bad experience in their life! Growing up in a tent was cake compared to this date.
Just seconds after she tells the cameras what an awful day she's had, she tells Kasey she's giving him the rose because they had such a great date. Lies!
Stage Coach Date
Another competition. Des drank goats milk for Sean and she has not forgotten and she is not going to let anyone off easy.
Suddenly Des is in a totally different dress. Why not? This is a fairytale, so why not?
Juan Pablo wins because he can speak Spanish. But if he can't say "I'm here for the right reasons" in English it's clear this relationship isn't going to work.
And now they get to watch the movie in what looks like the most uncomfortable movie chair ever.
Des talks about the movie and suddenly we're watching a commercial for the Lone Ranger.
I like Zac W. What the heck. Shirtless guy? You were supposed to be a jerk after that!
James seems like he's here for a job interview, not a dating show. He's nice, but I just don't feel it. Okay, he just pulled the daisy stunt. I change my mind. That was cute.
Pool Party/Rose Ceremony
Do bachelorettes get their makeup tatooed on? It never seems to run off when they hop in the pool.
Ben looks like a five-year-old when he lies about not having time with her yet.
And Brandon explains the whole issue with this style of dating show. There isn't much else to think about other than the girl/guy in question. Making every thing way more intense than it would ever be in real life.
If Des has to say "Will you accept this rose?" to Juan Pablo in Spanish, will they be able to communicate on a daily basis???
Seriously there are still some guys I don't recognize.
Brandon (poor guy!)
Dan. I caught his name when Chris Harrison said it, but otherwise I would not have known who he was!
Brandon is in love with Des??? Good grief, go home and meet a girl the normal way. Chill out. You've known her for three weeks and you weren't even exclusive! It's just. . . annoying.
Okay I'm done. Go check out Aubrey!